THE MONSTER ROACH FROM HELL

THE MONSTER ROACH FROM HELL
A True Story by Robert E Kreig

Just had the Monster Roach from Hell attack me in the kitchen.
The beast charged me, appearing from beneath the fridge before scurrying in my direction. I grabbed the PeaBeu and almost emptied the can onto its armour plated shell.
Still, it came for me again and again.
I lunged this way and that, with my cat-like reflexes. Admittedly, I didn't do too bad with my movement considering that I have done something to my left big toe. I can't bend it too far for some reason. A little bit of dull pain and I don't know what caused it.
But I digress.
The "effing" PeaBeu was useless. I may as well have sprayed cockroach strength inducing nutrients at the monster for all the good it was doing.
I quickly switched to the Mortein.
One quick spray and the creature from the Death Dimension stopped in its tracks.
Now, the tables had turned.
I attacked again.
The little bastard fled towards my freezer.
I gave chase. In my haste I stubbed my toe against the corner. My left big toe.
A silent scream of agony filled my lungs as I leapt towards the Roach of Doom.
I sprayed the Mortein again, covering the creature with a thick, white foam.
Before I cold finish the task, it slipped away, under the freezer.
I believe it is there still, licking its wounds and planning its revenge.
But I'm ready for it.
I have the Mortein close at hand, and a thong.
Now I go to ice my toe. 
My left big toe.

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